And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
