But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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