yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
