glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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