wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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