nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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