tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
