Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
