he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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