How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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