Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
