i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
