dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
