So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
