Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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