My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
