why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
