This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
