belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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