People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
