I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
