Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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