I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
