Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
