he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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