Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
