Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
