Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
