I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
