Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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