Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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