think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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