Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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