Do you still have your period?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
