ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize