Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
