$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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