Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
