i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
North Korea, Best Korea!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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