why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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