he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
