there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
