Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
