How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
