ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize