Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
