If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
