Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You ruined the universe
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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