Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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