kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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