I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
