Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
