Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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