I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
