And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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