I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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