please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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