I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
