you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
