I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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